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A night at the fights

Politics and sports often intertwine. For example, after winning the 2016 election for President of the United States, one of the first meetings President-elect, Donald J. Trump had was with boxing star, Floyd Mayweather. With this in mind, The Daily Autocrat ventured into the world of sports on September 8, 2017. The Mayweather Promotions event was headlined by a fight between Ronald Gavril and David Benavidez. Rather that provide readers with a blow-by- blow break down of the night’s fights, The Daily Autocrat aims to provide its readers with subtle insights into the cultural significance of sports and the event’s significance in today’s political/cultural environment. For example, when there is a huge spectacle between a no-hope Irishman and a supremely talented African-American boxer, The Daily Autocrat is willing to call a race-war a race-war and a spade a spade. Now, let’s recap Friday, September 8, 2017’s fights from the always-fabulous Hard Rock casino in Las Vegas, Nevada:

Andrew Hernandez vs. Caleb “Sweet Hands” Plant 

The opening match featured one heavily tattooed gentlemen vs another heavily tattooed gentlemen. Mr. Hernandez was clean-shaven while Mr. Plant carried a full-beard approximately 1 ¼ thick. Despite his freshly shaven face, Plant outclassed and punished Hernandez to the point that it was doubtful Hernandez could see out of his left eye by the end of the fight.

After the fight, the well-spoken Plant disclosed that he is fighting for his daughter in heaven, Alia. Plant is an impressive fighter, who appears to be a true-professional and fighting for a cause. Plant seemingly has a bright future and will hopefully fight for significant prize. Incidentally, he has taught The Daily Autocrat that anyone called “Sweet Hands” with a tattoo behind his right ear is most likely a highly-skilled boxer with supreme confidence and capable of embarrassing even the most rugged opponents.

David “The Sun City Warrior “ Han vs. J’Leon Love 

J’Leon was obviously the hometown fighter. Seemingly, everyone in attendance knew “J” and shouted instructions as if they spent an entire training camp with him and he was listening for their every word. Unfortunately for his fans, Love did not appear to take anyone’s advice. Instead, Love plotted forward and was consistently beat to the punch by Han. Speaking of Han, his lone supporters were two women (I’m guessing at least one was his wife or girlfriend) seated behind press-row. The women supporting Han actually appeared effective in helping Han by cheering each punch landed. Han clearly is inspired by the support he receives from women.

This fight came to a screeching halt in the eighth round as a result of a brutal clash of heads. The blood from Han’s head came gushing out as if Han’s head was a Coor’s light that had just been punctured with a key and shotgunned by a frat boy. After losing at least a 12 pack of blood, the dazed Han stumbled to the ground in apparent shock or out of sheer loss of a massive amount of blood. After approximately five scary minutes, in which the women supporting Han were silent, Han rose from the dead only to be told that he was the loser of the contest. Fortunately, everyone was happy that Han was alive and ignored the fact that Love may have received an unjustly favorable decision. The life lesson learned in this fight? Bloody pulps always finish last; even if they were winning prior to said blood.

Ronald Gavril vs. David Benavidez 

In an exciting and inspiring main-event, David Benavidez overcame the sheer-determination of Ronald Gavril. With his victory, the 20 year-old, 168 pound Benavidez became the youngest super middleweight title holder in history. Throughout the 12 rounds of action, Benavidez displayed superior skill and backed Gavril up with sharp well-timed punches.

However, Gavril refused to quit and continued to throw hard punches that seemingly had little effect and Benavidez. Finally, after 11 hard fought rounds, Gavril landed a flush left hand in the 12 th round that dropped Benavidez. Immediately after the knockdown, one of Gavril’s most vocal fans in the crowd instantly screamed “we win! We win! We win!” while jumping up and down. In perhaps the best counter of the night, a spectator behind Gavril’s biggest fan coldly told him “sit the fuck down, nobody can see through you.” Coincidentally, as Gavril’s humbled fan sat down, Benavidez stood up to finish the fight. With that, it became clear that one of the most beautiful things about boxing is that it will humble even the most delusional people.

After the fights, The Daily Autocrat was treated to a gin and tonic and exited the casino. While exiting, The Daily Autocrat encountered a line of approximately 5 bachelorette parties waiting to see a “Magic Mike Live” show and the stench of cigarettes from the gaming tables. The Vegas fight experience was complete.

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