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Qaddafi’s wife demands rotting corpse of former dictator for who knows what sort of sick, sexual thing

In the latest display of her shameless wantonness, Safia Farkash has demanded that her former lover’s rotting corpse be presented to her immediately.

Qaddafi unlikely to win Libya election

Colonel Muammar Qaddafi, who was brutally executed by rebels in October 2011, is not expected to come away with a win in this weekend’s elections.

Obama congratulates Libyans on sodomizing Qaddafi with a knife before executing him

“I want to congratulate the people of Libya on mercilessly sodomizing Colonel Qaddafi with knives and sticks before executing him. This marks the end of a long and painful chapter for the Libyan people and a slightly shorter, but weirder and definitely very painful chapter for the colonel.”

Popular Mitt Qaddafi costume sells out in stores this Halloween

The hybrid Mitt Romney-Muammar Qaddafi costume, featuring a universal healthcare scheme, a bullet to the head, a flashy pinstripe suit, and a ravaged anal cavity proved hugely popular among Halloween-goers this year.

EXCLUSIVE: Qaddafi delivers radio address from Hell

The following is a rushed transcript from a recent evening address delivered by Colonel Muammar el-Qaddafi, delivered from Hell and broadcasted over Syrian radio station RFE-RL. Well hello everyone, you total fucking assholes….

"Qaddafi still alive," Qaddafi's lifeless body announces

“Do not believe the lies of those who seek to ruin this nation. I am doing very well, despite the bullet I recently took to the side of my head. Feels great to be alive!”

PHOTO OF THE DAY: Qaddafi's album of Condoleeza Rice photos reminds everyone just how creepy both individuals are

Along with an album featuring photos of former U.S. Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice, rebels unearthed a pair of jeans Qaddafi claims to have borrowed from Israeli President Shimon Peres in the 80s and tickets to an Ace of Base concert he attended with Robert Mugabe in the summer of ’94.

PHOTO JOURNAL: A lot of stuff happening in Libya

Upon hearing that a kid with a red hat screamed in front of his compound while standing on his statue of a gigantic hand crushing a plane, Qaddafi immediately directed his advisers to “Get that kid if it’s the last thing you do. And bring him to me! What a spectacle this is! A spectacle if there ever was any! And on my statue of the plane being crushed by that hand.

PHOTO OF THE DAY: Qaddafi found still giving speech at the UN

While rebels searched for the colonel throughout his Tripoli compound on Tuesday, Qaddafi was discovered at the United Nations in New York, continuing to deliver a tirade started in 2009.

Qaddafi totally fucked

Although Qaddafi is probably wondering what the quality of video will be like when his hanging is posted on YouTube, it seems he’d prefer to stick to audio for now, as he continues to release messages to the Libyan people.

Qaddafi, Assad voice support for anti-government British protesters in sassiest move ever

Oh, how the world goes ’round. One man’s gangster is another man’s, well, anti-government rebel. One day you’re chubby and British, calling on everyone else to step down, and the next day you’re…

Qaddafi retains stronghold in alternate universe

Qaddafi continues to hold a fortified stronghold in his own brain, which apart from potted plants and old newspapers, contains autographed photos of him in the 1960s, the fuselage from the commercial airliner he blew up in 1988, and every possible way of spelling his name.

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