News For Everyone to Enjoy In Moderation, Under Very Specific Guidelines

Greece

Greek airports, utilities, land, people all up for sale

Crises, which look great in HD on my television here in New York, but which are a bit less clear and crisp in person–particularly when your eyes are being burnt with tear gas–tend to act as the breeding grounds for slovenly, sweaty, martian-like individuals, who slither their way into countries and buy up national assets at cheap prices.

Greece solves country’s financial crisis by selling country to someone else

The Greek Parliament today voted in favor of an EU and IMF-backed austerity plan, announcing “We have found that the best way for Greece to fix Greece’s problems is to sell Greece off. Greece really never liked Greece anyhow.”

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