News For Everyone to Enjoy In Moderation, Under Very Specific Guidelines


WEEK IN AUTOCRACY: 11-17 Nov. 2013

Discussions between Russian and Egyptian officials this week involved an arms deal reportedly worth $2 billion and numerous jokes about how the democratically-elected president of Egypt is currently in jail.

WEEK IN AUTOCRACY: 4-10 Nov. 2013

Israeli officials have denied any role in the apparent poisoning of late Palestinian leader Yasir Arafat, explaining that once they secretly gave Arafat the poison, it was, after all, his body that processed the radioactive chemical, causing him to then die.

Peace-loving Israel and Saudi Arabia express concern over lack of U.S. war with Iran and Syria

It makes perfect sense that both Israel and Saudi Arabia would be so openly exasperated by a perceived hesitancy among U.S. officials to recklessly wage war in the Middle East, particularly when you consider how well the many other U.S. wars are going.

Israeli PM Netanyahu deciding which speech about Iran being imminent threat to reuse at UN this year

“Should I use the speech about Iran attacking us at any minute from 2009 or 2011?” Netanyahu asked his aides before realizing that the speech he gave in 2011 was actually the same as the one in 2009.

A nuclear Iran would be fine, thank you

Israel, with its nuclear arsenal, not only already poses an existential threat to Iran, but actually poses such a threat to all its regional neighbors—none of whom have nuclear weapons. Moreover, even without nuclear weapons, Israel continues to be a serious threat to the existence of Palestine.

Israel, Iran, and nuclear ducks

The prime minister appears to be referring to a duck that has had a nuclear program for decades and no nuclear weapon.

The time is ripe for Israel to attack Iran and drag the whole world into war

Israeli officials have pointed out that Iran looks a bit too much like a snail edging its way west, ready to drag its weird snail slime along anything in its path, starting with already slimey Iraq.

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