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The Pope

Pope leaves job to spend more time with kids

The Pope announced his resignation today, telling reporters that he hoped to have more time to spend with God’s children. “Specifically boys,” the Pope explained, “Supple, young, innocent, athletic boys, with smooth, tanned skin and soft, warm lips. And they should love the Lord Jesus, of course.”

WEEK IN AUTOCRACY, 30 Sept – 6 Oct 2012

“You’re a gigantic loser, wimp, and pussy,” Mitt Romney informed President Obama Wednesday night before walking over to the president’s podium and urinating all over his shoes.

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