News For Everyone to Enjoy In Moderation, Under Very Specific Guidelines

Fox Newsed and abused

The festering pile of worm-ridden fetid rabies-carrying demon’s breath that is Fox News uses certain tricks to shift viewers’ hearts and minds toward whatever load of humanity-rotting bile they’re spewing in any given week that smells worse than Henry Paulson’s breath after blowing Lucifer every Tuesday. These tactics are well known to a lot of you and many of them are used by much of the corporate media, but I’m going to go through a few because I figure you probably haven’t heard them listed with this many curse words.

Step #1: Scare people. Frightened people don’t think rationally. Think about it, when you were a kid were you thinking rationally when you were hiding in the closet because your brother put on a scary mask, woke you up in the middle of the night, doused you with cold water, and yelled that you were adopted? I fucking doubt it. You were more likely thinking, “Does that werewolf work for the adoption agency or what?!”

Step #2: Use projection. This is a psychology term for accusing others of what you yourself are guilty of, like when Bill O’Reilly says that the left wing is racist or sexist or homophobic or anti-immigrant or can only get it up if the woman is wearing a Bill O’Reilly mask. They’re scared of the shit sticking to them, so they hurl it on the other guy first. Monkeys use this tactic too.

Step #3: Imply that people who don’t see things your way are idiots. Now, I realize you might be thinking, “Wait a second, Lee, you do that all the time.” And my response to that is – You’re an idiot. …Okay, maybe I do do that. But I don’t do it as some kind of manipulation trick. I only do it because you’re an idiot.

Step #4: Use repetition to pound ideas into viewers’ heads. And I don’t mean like repeating good points a few times. I mean phrases like “drill baby drill” said to the point of nausea even though it’s trading on the commodities market that affects oil prices, not whether ExxonMobil can stick a new pipeline up your asphalt. Another example is the phrase “class warfare,” which is a combination of repetition, fear mongering, AND projection. The rare trifecta! Before ya know it, Fox News viewers are hiding in their basements ready to use the “stand your ground” law to shoot anyone who doesn’t look like them – i.e. has more than seven teeth.

Anyway, that’s just a few of the tactics they use. There are others such as having the female hosts open their legs directly into camera three. And I’m sure many of you are thinking, “It’s not just Fox News that uses these tricks; it’s all corporate media.” And I agree with you to some extent, but Fox is by far the worst culprit, not only because no one wants to see Wolf Blitzer open his legs directly into camera.

These four tactics were originally listed by Doctor Cynthia Boaz over at You can read her full article there.

Lee Camp is a stand-up comedian, writer, and activist. He’s a contributor to The Onion and has provided comedic commentary on BBC’s Newsnight, Countdown with Keith Olbermann, Good Morning America, Showtime’s “The Green Room” and more. Check out his popular web series Moment of Clarity and the Moment of Clarity book and podcast at

Twitter: @leecamp



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