News For Everyone to Enjoy In Moderation, Under Very Specific Guidelines

Right-wing CEOs lead really unhip and scary get-out-the-vote campaign

“A high-quality spanking might do you some good,” Trump notified Romney before spanking him.

Some of you may remember that early in Obama’s term there was one issue more important than anything else in America. Not terrorism, not the crater left in the economy by the Bush administration, not the two wars being fought–instead American’s thanked the right wing for bringing to their attention the shocking and widespread horror of voter fraud, which was presumably the only reason Obama was elected, rather than the eight year long chimp’s tea party that had just departed the White House. Voter fraud was real, and was happening right in front of our eyes.

An investigation began, and again American’s honored the selfless and judicious GOP for not concerning themselves with the war, the debt, the economy, and instead launching a relentless and time consuming witch hunt, until they could convince their pathetic opposite numbers in Government to completely defund the organization known as Acorn. No evidence of voter fraud was actually found, but Acorn did work with a lot of minorities, so they were presumably up to no good anyway. America breathed a sigh of relief as once again as their shining white knights in the GOP rode to the rescue. It was the end of voter fraud in America… Phew… That was until last month, when Americans learned the true source of voter fraud in the US, namely the GOP themselves.

Nathan Sproul’s consulting firms had been doing contract work for the Republicans all throughout the Bush years, and have also received various financial contributions from the Romney camp during this election cycle. Consulting firms, plural not singular, as Sproul has been repeatedly busted, and had to change the name of his group multiple times, so the GOP could continue to work with him. Now I know what you’re thinking… “Come on, Jack. This is America, we don’t prosecute fraud. Those bankers took us for billions in ’08 and we haven’t done dick about it. Can you even make money out of voter fraud? I’m not sure it even qualifies.” Yeah, I know. Who gives a fuck, right? But if fraud doesn’t tickle your junk, then how about coercion?

Back in June, speaking on a conference call hosted by the conservative-leaning National Federation of Independent Businesses, Mitt Romney encouraged his quisling kleptocratic cohorts to inform their employees of the downside of not voting for him. “I hope you make it very clear to your employees what you believe is in the best interest of your enterprise and therefore their job and their future in the upcoming elections… And whether you agree with me or you agree with President Obama, or whatever your political view, I hope, I hope you pass those along to your employees.” Romney said, before laughing so hard his aides had to hang up the call out of embarrassment. The response has predictably trickled out over the last few months, and below are just a few choice quotes from various business leaders. See if you can discern for yourself who they might be contributing to, and ask yourself how you might feel were you to see such comments on, for instance, a company newsletter or, say, a letter sent directly to you from your boss…

“If any new taxes are levied on me, or my company, as our current President plans, I will have no choice but to reduce the size of this company.“
-David Siegel, Westgate Resorts CEO

“If we fail as a nation to make the right choice on November 6th, and we lose our independence as a company, I don’t want any complaints regarding the fallout that will most likely come.”
– Arthur Allen, ASG Software Solutions CEO

“We have only a little over a month left in this election fight. If we do not win it, the coal industry will be eliminated and so will your job…”
-Coal baron Bob Murray

“It is important that in November you vote to improve your standard of living and that will be through smaller government and less government.”
– Richard Lacks, Lacks Enterprises CEO

“If we elect candidates who… put unprecedented burdens on businesses… then many of our more than 50,000 US employees and contractors, may suffer the consequences…”
– Dave Robertson, Koch Industries President

Hmmm, yes indeed… Hope you’re all clear on who to vote for now. Even so, one thing is clear: When democracy calls, don’t expect these guys to pick up. They’re on the other line, cracking wise with Mitt about how they intend to fuck their employees harder than the Bang Bros crew, and with less warmth. If you don’t enjoy being spoken to in such a manner, firstly, maybe consider getting another job, secondly, you might not want to vote for Romney in a couple of weeks. The reality is that for all their bluster these guys are doing better now than they ever did under Bush. Corporate profits are at an all time high and the President has also cut their taxes. When Obama is re-elected, I’d be amazed if all these CEO’s instantly began announcing redundancies, to the detriment of their own profits; purely as revenge for the fact their pathetic Randian philosophy took another ruthless pounding at the ballot box.

But that said, stranger things have happened: For example, the GOP have been purposely trying to destroy the economy of the country they claim to love for three and a half years now, simply so they could pin it on that black, Muslim, interloper, and retake office. Then they get back to their real job of carving up every facet of humanity into a percentage they can line their filthy pockets with. Fraud and coercion aside, on the 6th of November America decides. Then we can hit reset button on the last four years, snuggle up in our respective dives, and watch the whole charmless and interminable saga unfold for us on TV once again.

James A. Foster is a British freelance journalist, political columnist, and sworn enemy of the corporate owned media. He is also founder and editor of– A tight but loose collection of writers, covering national and global affairs in the fine tradition of Gonzo Journalism. He can be contacted through the website and also followed on twitter @ThisIsAdNauseam

Submit your comment

Please enter your name

Your name is required

Please enter a valid email address

An email address is required

Please enter your message

The Daily Autocrat © 2019 All Rights Reserved

Designed by WPSHOWER

Powered by WordPress