News For Everyone to Enjoy In Moderation, Under Very Specific Guidelines

WEEK IN AUTOCRACY: 4-10 Nov. 2013

A car blast in the Somali capital of Mogadishu raised concerns that terrorist group Al Shabab was leashing a fresh campaign in the city after having been driven out by African Union troops two years ago, and shocked observers who unaware that there were actually cars in Somalia.

A car blast in the Somali capital of Mogadishu on Friday worried experts concerned that terrorist group Al-Shabab may be unleashing a fresh campaign of violence in the city, and shocked observers who were totally unaware that there were still cars in Somalia.

Mideast Syria

The Syrian National Coalition, the main Western-backed opposition group, on Friday announced its refusal to participate in upcoming talks, saying that Russia could not be a fair mediator since it is “part of the conflict”–unlike the Coalition itself, of course, whose leadership is based outside of Syria and has already been rejected by 30 different rebel groups fighting on the ground, and so basically plays no actual role in the conflict.

A report by Swiss scientists, released this week, revealed that the body of late Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat contained  at least 18 times the normal levels of plutonium, which suggested that he may have been poisoned.

A report by Swiss scientists revealed this week that the body of late Palestinian leader Yasir Arafat contained at least 18 times the normal levels of plutonium, which suggested that he may have been poisoned. Israeli officials denied any role in the killing, explaining that once they did secretly give Arafat the poison, it was, after all, his body that processed the radioactive chemical, causing him to then die.

Three days of negotiation over Iran's nuclear program ended late Saturday night without a deal.

Three days of negotiation over Iran’s nuclear program ended late Saturday night without a deal. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu blasted the negotiations, saying that from Israel’s experience negotiations should only happen when a country is absolutely forced to the table by a third party, after which time you can then sabotage them yourself by continuing to build settlements on your opponent’s land.

Following the selection of Maulana Fazlullah as the new leader of the Pakistani Taliban--succeeding Hakimullah Mehsud, who was killed in a recent American drone strike--the group has vowed to carry out attacks on Pakistan's government

Following the selection of Maulana Fazlullah as the new leader of the Pakistani Taliban–succeeding Hakimullah Mehsud, who was killed in a recent American drone strike–the group has vowed avenge the killing with violent attacks on Pakistan’s government, explaining that they were pretty damn good at the whole violent attacks thing if you hadn’t noticed, so they’d stick with them in this case as well.

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