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With Mubarak gone, country in desperate search for new dictator

With his impressively confusing speech out of the way, Mubarak decided it was probably time to leave town and figure out how he could get the hell out of the country with as many gold coins he could fit into suitcases before the mobs tore his limbs off and feasted on his internal organs. But alas, now the country is left dictatorless–never a happy moment for a place ruled for so long by such a dedicated madman. The difficulty, I suspect, will be to find a despot who will step up to the plate and be willing to put the interests of the country and the values of individual liberty and forthrightness in the backseat while power and lawlessness take the wheel. Only someone willing to make the necessary sacrifices to ensure that no one stands in his way will truly be able to fill the vast void left by Mubarak’s untimely departure. God help us. In fact, now that I think of it God might be just who we need…or at least someone who speaks for God. No one comes to mind…except Bill O’Reilly, maybe, and Sarah Palin, and Osama Bin Laden, oh yeh, and Pat Robertson, and Iran’s Grand Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. But that’s about it.

Men in black: Mubarak explains to Obama what the word “president” means in Egypt.

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